chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Randomize
