$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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