my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
