I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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