Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Randomize
