I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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