If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
