a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
