We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
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