you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
