I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
you didnt know i had herpes?
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
