I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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