..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Randomize
