After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
He better not be in your backpack
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
