I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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