Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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