So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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