his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
