So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
too bad you live with your parents still
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
