Nicole vs. Life
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I need to wash the frat house off of me
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
