is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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