i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
