dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
false alarm. still invincible.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
It's no shave November. This is our time.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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