sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
i think my cat just said my name.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
