The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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