he puts the penis in happiness.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Randomize
