I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
