we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
