was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
