Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
