So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
