i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
