Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Im part way to drunk.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
