I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Randomize
