You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
