im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
You need Xanax blowdarts
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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