I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
