I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Randomize
