I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize