Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
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