Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
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