In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
