I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize