there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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