I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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