why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
