im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
