i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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