She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Randomize
