I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize