So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize