So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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