woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
