Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
