Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
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