tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Randomize
