Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
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