Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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