Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
