is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
My vagina just recognized that song.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
