you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Semen is not good for contacts.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Randomize
