I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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