Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
