Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
She needs sedatives and a leash
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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