youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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