I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Randomize
