He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I lost the right to judge tonight
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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