I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Randomize
