I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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