I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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