We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
