I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
