He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
