I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
