would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I just want to make out with him forever
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Randomize
