You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
