Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
