why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize